New Release

Dignity

The highly anticipated memoir is now available to buy!

Definition of Dignity: “The state of being worthy of honour or respect” – Oxford Dictionary.

Our Readers Responses

Shaz
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I started reading ur book this afternoon and could not put it down! I've literally just finished and omg 🥲🥲 🥲 are an inspirational, strong woman!!! How you as a child went through the things you did- unimaginable! Well done for getting ur story out there Hun. Love you lots xxx
Martha
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Just finished your book. Thank you! Thank you for sharing your story. Hard that it is to read, to digest, it shines light on the monstrosities that went on and no doubt still do. I hope through your writing, you have gained some peace and closure. You are amazing. What you do for others is incredible and reading your story makes me want to do more - to seek out injustice, in whatever form, and support those in need with as much love and energy as I can muster. Thank you from a wet- eyed friend
Linda
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Horrific. You are amazing!
Sally
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OMG! I cant believe what you went through and look at you now. You are amazing. I love you.
Priya
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Hey sweetie, read your book. Don't have any words to explain how I felt. I just know it was a sickening feeling of dread while I read it. Cannot imagine a child having to go through all of that in a first world country. U have no clue how strong you are .and look at yourself now!! Just makes all my problems appear insignificant. Must speak soon because I have too much to say. Well done u !! U are a motivation for me now. More strength to you. Lots of love xx
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A Word From The Author

Why? I have fought to regain my dignity for my entire life. Because the British care system; Systematically abused. I was subjected to racist abuse, I was drugged, sexually and physically abused. My confidence, self-esteem, self-respect, and honour were stolen from me by individuals and the system that is meant to care. My quest in sharing my story is to do just that, tell my story, I will not allow my past experiences to further, violate and traumatise me. I will continue to maintain my dignity and my protect identity.
J N Blackwood
Entrepreneur and Writer.

The book teaches so much and enables the reader to gain insight into aspects of life that we’d never ordinarily be exposed to.
We gain awareness into so many topics.

Read this book and you will learn...

 
  • Racism in Britain
  • Jamaican culture
  • Family Life
  • Pregnancy & abortion
  • Sexual Abuse
  • Education System
  • Windrush Era
  • LQT Syndrome
  • Medicine, drugs, and nursing
  • Social Services
  • Death & Loss
  • Mental Health

Who should read this book?

Anyone interested in true stories:

  • History – The Windrush Generation
  • The Social Care System
  • Systemic Racism
  • Stories of Triumph
  • Self Help Books

Key Messages

Sample of "Dignity - A True Story"

CHAPTER 2
How I Came to Be

The smell of Jamaican air. A thick odour of burning wood mixes with the sweet aroma of redwood trees. The shallow green stream becomes transparent, with only a soft trickling sound that makes the water real. A blanket of fog seeps down from the hills. As the sun disappears behind a hill, the reflection of the tree shimmers from across the river.
This is where she sat, my mother. She was a little girl aged 12. Her name was Neva. She had an attractive, soft face. Her thick black hair touched her shoulders and encircled her face. Her brown eyes enhanced the rich colouring of golden copper she’d inherited from her mother, Gertrude. Her eyes, dark as smoke, she definitely got from her father. Her slightly arched eyebrows highlighted her emotions, moving up and down as she reacted to the world around her. Her nose crinkled when she gave her little girl look, making people want to smile when she talked. When she could get time for herself, she would go down to the stream behind her shack and amuse herself, skimming stones across the waterway to see how many bounces on impact she could get.  [An extract from Dignity by JN Blackwood – All Rights Reserved JN Blackwood 2022]

On that fateful day, she noticed a stranger was watching her from a distance, but she tried to ignore his incessant stare. Finally, she could not bear it any longer. She was embarrassed by him, but also overcome with pity for his hopeless attempts to be friendly. Her flawless black skin and eyes that shone brightly made this tall stranger want to get to know her. She watched him move. There was something of a mystery in him, combined with a gentleness that made her heart reach out. She bit her lip; how could she start a conversation when she didn’t know him?
Then, in that instant, he turned and caught her eye; before she could turn away with shyness, a genuine grin spread across his face, turning it from handsome into divine. She coughed, cleared her throat, and said loud enough for him to hear without looking up, “Wah, mek yuh a stare.”
He replied, “Mi jus a luk gud gyal.”
Neva did not answer and decided to leave and go back home. Some days later, she was aware that she encountered the stranger each time she went down to the stream. He was a tall, middle-aged male, dignified, with a quiet manner and a noticeable presence.
That day, he was dressed in white, stringed vest and canvas trousers. He would stare at Neva, tell her he liked what he was seeing. She wondered, was he really who he said he was? She learnt his name was Morris. The more time she spent with him, the more she grew to like him. He would buy her little gifts and shower her with compliments. She could not quite believe this big Morris, more than double her age, really liked her. Was it love or lust? Was she even old enough to know what love or lust was? They regularly sat on the riverbank, talking for hours about nothing. The days became months. Her openness to the thought of loving and being loved, she questioned in her child-like manner
Neva had this child-like innocence; it was her tool for dealing with the uncertainty and insecurity of life. One day Neva felt a terrible, brutal boob pain. They felt swollen and so painful that she did not even want to put a bra on. Everything smelt disgusting. The most blatant offender was hair. The memory of the smell would haunt her all day, and she would vomit about it later. Other, more minor sources of disgusting smells included, but were not limited to coffee, meat, cigarettes, basements, her dog, olive oil. Even ideas had aromas; they were disgusting.
Morris noticed her fragile condition and deduced that Neva could be pregnant. He asked her, “Yuh period nuh come yet?” Neva paused and was embarrassed by the question. She needed time to digest what Morris was saying. As the weeks passed and her belly began to swell, Morris had no doubt she was with child, and he decided they were going to keep the baby. The only thing was … they never had sex. Beyond these things, in my view, Neva was charming, because she possessed something that adults have all lost – the quality of innocence. With this innocence, Neva had no concept that the playful and loving interactions she had experienced with Morris were sexual.
A ‘loss of innocence’ is often seen as an integral part of coming of age. But Neva was still a child to me …
This is my own particular recollection of this, so that is why I write they never had sex. This is my mother; this is what I want to believe. And though the life lessons presented to Morris might seem harsh to even an adult, he manned up and took it all in his stride.
Neva was the oldest sibling. She had two sisters and one brother. She had been prepared both at school and at home for her role in life by her mother, whose name was Gertrude, affectionately known as Neh-neh. With little money, Gertrude took pleasure and pride in looking after her home and family to the best of her ability. There was a baby on the way and Neva lived with her mother, but she was terrified to tell her, because she knew that her mother would think that she had screwed up her life forever. They decided they would not tell.
Keeping her pregnancy, a secret was the only way she would be able to keep her baby. She could not bring herself to tell her family or friends. She was utterly paralysed with fear over their reactions. Neva was sensitive, and the thought of people screaming at her because she was ruining her life was too much to handle. Keeping them from physically noticing was easy: she wore baggy clothes to hide her (still small) growing bump. [An extract from Dignity by JN Blackwood – All Rights Reserved JN Blackwood 2022]

What Readers Are Saying

4.5/5
This book was so gripping, captivating, and enthralling; it had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish. The descriptions and detail of everything that the author has experienced are truly unfathomable.
...
As I was reading, there were moments of sheer outrage, frustration, and concern. From start to finish this book takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions, there are so many twists and turns, highs and lows, ins and outs that truly leave left me speechless,
C H Reid

Editorial reviewer

The overarching message that shone throughout this book for me was fight mode. From a young age the author was always fighting; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Her fight continues as she shares her story about the injustices endured during her childhood.
M Williams

Reviewer

FAQ

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Amazon has Prime delivery available the paperback version or the option to buy a Kindle downloadable version.

Waterstones now has it available in their bookstores for you.

Books can only be returned if damaged. Send an email to: info@jnblackwood.co.uk if you purchased it by Paypal.

Otherwise please check with Amazon or Waterstones for their process of returning books.

Please email me at: info@jnblackwood.co.uk

You can now purchase the book on Amazon and from Waterstones bookstores.

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